Muse’s Next Album Is Destined To Be Crap

At best, we rate them as some sort of Radiohead tribute band who one day decided to break out and perform their own material.

The band are like the new kid at school who nobody knows about. Always hanging around in the background, they don’t really annoy anyone, but no-one knows anything about them. All they seem to do is constantly record albums, release singles and tour. Only recently has some personality been injected in to them, making the average person think they do more than write and record.

Frontman Matt Bellamy has recently gone and found himself all loved up with Hollywood actress Kate Hudson. Now he’s going to write lyrics about his experiences with her. Pass us the sick bag would you?

Society often rejects stuff if it isn’t populist. This is why, on a Saturday night, X-Factor is on the TV because everyone prefers second rate singers who think they can belt out hits. You’ll never see a program dedicated to pirates and ninjas doing battle on a hilltop.

More and more people sing about fluffy feelings like love and what sandwich filling was left in the shop at 3pm which makes things a bit boring.

Subsequently, everything becomes bland; self implodes and disappears for bloody ages. With any luck.

We predict the same for Muse as The Sun report Matt Bellamy as saying:

“I’ve been through a lot of personal changes, so some of the songwriting might be a bit more open and personal.”

Let’s hope they know the chords for Fake Plastic Trees when the next album goes tits up.